The NWS Game

[TheRolyPoly]

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN MIAMI HAS ISSUED A WSVN-TV WARNING UNTIL 11 PM ET TONIGHT. WATCH 7 NEWS TONIGHT AT 5, 6, & 10. JUST IN CASE THERE IS FOX SPORTS PROGRAMMING, WATCH 7 NEWS LATE EDITION AT 7 PM ET. 7 NEWS IS #1 IN SOUTH FLORIDA.

[ilovemikebettes]

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN CHICAGO/ROMIOVILLE HAS ISSUEED A RUNNING WARNING. PLEASE DO NOT RUN TO FAST TODAY IN THE GOT SUN,OR YOU MAY GET SWEATY AND SMELLY REAL FAST! NOBODY WILL BE AROUND YOU IF YOU ARE SWEATY AND SMELLY. YOU WILL ALSO GET SUNBURNED. YOU WILL ALSO GET YELLED AT BY YOUR HUSBAND/WIFE. PLEASE,GO BACK TO SLEEP,OR,BE FREEZING COLD LIKE WINTER WITH YOUR AC ON. PLEASE STAY TUNED TO TWC TODAY FOR UPDATES.

[TheRolyPoly]

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN MIAMI HAS ISSUED A BAD TV STATIONS WARNING. EVERY STATION IN THE NORTHEAST EXCEPT WNEP, WBZ, WPVI, WCVB, WFXT, WHDH, WLNE, WPRI, WNAC, WJAR, WCBS, WNBC, WNYW, WWOR, WPIX, WPXI, WTAE, WCAU, WTNH, WFSB, & WTIC ARE BAD TV STATIONS. THE STATIONS THAT I MENTIONED ARE GOOD FOR YOU. THE REST ARE BAD TV STATION. DON'T WATCH THE BAD TV STATIONS OR YOU WILL BE KILLED IN 5 SECONDS

[Zach]

(4000 ALERT TONE)


THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN WAKEFIELD HAS ISSUED A DOSWELL WARNING FOR HENRICO COUNTY AS DOSWELL WILL BE MOVING OUT OF HANOVER COUNTY AND MOVING INTO HENRICO COUNTY.

[NicoleWasHere]

Eh, why not.

(Alert tone)
-----------

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN PLEASANT HILL, HAS ISSUED A ROSEANNE WARNING FOR THE FOLLOWING COUNTIES IN MISSOURI:  JACKSON.  BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR THIS DANGEROUS PERSON.  ROSEANNE WAS LAST SEEN IN THE IMMEDIATE DOWNTOWN AREA, DESTROYING BUILDINGS AND BREATHING FIRE.  SHE  IS MOVING TO THE EAST AT 10 MILES PER HOUR.  IF YOU ARE IN THE PATH OF THIS CRAZED LADY, TAKE COVER NOW.


 

[WeatherSTARIII]

(3000 Alert tone)

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN WASHINGTON, DC HAS ISSUED A CHINESE WARNING FOR THE WHOLE NATION INCLUDING THE U.S. OYMPIC TEAM UNTIL AUGUST 24, 2008. EARLIER THIS EVENING, LOU DOBBS OF CNN COMPLAINED THAT THE CHINESE IS RUINING OUR WORKFORCE. IN ADDITION, CHINA COULD BRING MORE JOBS THAN THE U.S. AND COULD POSSIBLY BEAT OUR COUNTRY'S OYMPIC TEAM. TO HELP IMPROVE THE ODDS OF THE U.S. WINNING MORE AND MORE GOLD METALS, THROW AWAY ANY THING THAT'S CHINIESE MADE. REMEMBER TO BUY AMERICAN! STAY TUNED TO THE WEATHER CHANNEL OR LOG ON TO WWW.WEATHER.COM FOR MORE INFORMATION.

[ilovemikebettes]

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN CHICAGO/ROMIEOVILLE HAS ISSUED A TIRED WARNING. IT'S 1:00 IN THE MORNING,GO BACK TO SLEEP ALREADY! YOU ALREADY GOT YELLED AT BY YOUR WIFE! GO BACK TO SLEEP,THEN GO BACK ON TWC TODAY OTHERWISE WE WILL THINK YOU SLEPT FOR 35 HOURS.

[Tyler]

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN PITTSBURGH HAS ISSUED AN *ANNOYING ROLAND WARNING, FOR THE FOLLOWING COUNTRIES: *ALL. THIS WARNING IS IN EFFECT UNTIL *ROLAND GROWS UP. AT 11:01 AM ET, THIS STORM WAS LOCATED NEAR THE NWS GAME THREAD AT TWCCLASSICS' FORUMS. EXPECT THIS STORM TO TRAIN OVER THE SAME AREA, AND SWITCH BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN TWCCLASSICS AND TWCTODAY. THIS IS A VERY DANGEROUS STORM. TAKE COVER IMMEDIATELY. PLEASE REPORT SMALL HAIL, WIND DAMAGE, STUPIDITY, AND RETARDISM TO THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE BY CALLING TOLL-FREE 1-877-633-6772, WHEN YOU CAN DO SO SAFELY.

[Mike M]

LOL at Tyler.

[TheRolyPoly]

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN MIAMI HAS ISSUED A GAME ROOM WARNING. I CAN FINALLY POST IN THE GAME ROOM AGAIN, YAY!

[WeatherSTARIII]

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A SODA WARNING FOR THE WHOLE NATION UNTIL FRIDAY. AT 1:55 AM CDT, TRAINED WEATHER SPOTTER HAD REPORTED RAINING COLA. IT'S UNCLEAR WHEATHER OR NOT IF ITS EATHER COKE, PEPSI, OR RC. THIS HEAVY SODA DOWNPOUR STRETCHES FROM ALL THE WAY FROM SEATLE TO MIAMI. IN THE MIDWEST MEANWHILE, EXPECT TO SEE FLOODED COLA. REMEMBER NOT TO USE ANY ELECTRONICS. ANY LIQLID WILL CONDUCT ELECTRICITY! ALSO, DON'T DRINK THE SODA! IT'S LIKELY DIRTY ALREADY. TO REPORT SODA-RELATED FLOOD DAMAGE, CALL 1-800-555-NOAA.

[wstarcraze]

<wxstar3000 warning tone>

BULLETIN  - IMMEDIATE BROADCAST REQUESTED

UNEMPLOYMENT WARNING
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE DETROIT/PONTIAC MI
THU OCT 2 2008 916 PM EDT

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A UNEMPLOYMENT WARNING EFFECTIVE UNTIL FURTHER
NOTICE FOR ALL OF SOUTHEAST MICHIGAN

UNEMPLOYMENT RATES CONTINUE TO RISE ACROSS SOUTHEAST MICHIGAN AT THIS TIME
UNEMPLOYMENT RATES ARE STILL FORECAST TO RISE. POSSIBLY ABOVE RECORD LEVELS.

IF YOU LIVE IN THE SOUTHEASTERN REGION OF MICHIGAN PLEASE MOVE TO A DIFFERENT REGION OF
MICHIGAN OR TO ANOTHER STATE.

OTHERWISE PREPARE IMMEDIATELY FOR LOWER PAY, JOB LAYOFFS, AND COMPLETE LOSS OF MANY
JOBS IN SOUTHEAST MICHIGAN. YOUR JOB MAY BE NEXT!

$$

WEATHERSTAR3000FAN

[Mike M]

FULL FORCE NATURE EPISODE WARNING
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE MOUNT HOLLY NJ
330 PM EST MON JAN 26 2009

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN MOUNT HOLLY, NJ HAS ISSUED A

* FULL FORCE NATURE EPISODE WARNING FOR

* COMCAST CABLE COMMUNICATIONS CHANNEL 57

* UNTIL 400 PM EST

* AT 330 PM EST, NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE DOPPLER RADAR HAS DETECTED A FULL FORCE NATURE EPISODE ON A 12-YEAR OLD BOY WHO GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING. THE SAFEST PLACE TO BE DURING A FULL FORCE NATURE EPISODE WARNING IS AWAY FROM YOUR TELEVISION. DO NOT LOOK OR LISTEN TO YOUR TELEVISION DURING THIS EPISODE, AS YOU COULD GET FULL FORCE-ITIS. STAY TUNED TO NOAA WEATHER RADIO, YOUR LOCAL RADIO OR TELEVISION STATIONS, OR YOUR CABLE TELEVISION OUTLET FOR FURTHER UPDATES.

LAT... LON... CHANNEL 57

$$
/FORECASTER MIKE

[Evan2015]

PINK RADAR WARNING
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE LOUISVILLE KY
316 PM EST TUE JAN 27 2009

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN LOUISVILLE, KY HAS ISSUED A

* PINK RADAR WARNING FOR

* CORNER RADAR OF FPB CHANNEL 19, MAIN RADAR OF CHANNEL 19, LOCAL RADAR SEGMENT ON CHANNEL 19, REGIONAL DOPPLER OF CHANNEL 32, AND LOCAL DOPPLER OF CHANNEL 32

* UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

* AT 316 PM EST, NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE DOPPLER RADAR HAS TURNED PINK BECAUSE OF ALL THE FREEZING RAIN. THE SAFEST PLACE TO BE DURING A PINK RADAR WARNING IS IN FRONT OF YOUR TELEVISION. LOOK AT THE PINK RADAR ON YOUR TELEVISION DURING THIS PERIOD OF TIME, AS YOU COULD GET MYSTIFIED BY SUCH A COLOR. STAY TUNED TO NOAA WEATHER RADIO, YOUR LOCAL RADIO OR TELEVISION STATIONS, OR YOUR CABLE TELEVISION OUTLET FOR FURTHER UPDATES.

LAT... LON... CHANNEL 19 CHANNEL 32

$$
EH

[Jonathan]

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN SPRINGFIELD HAS ISSUED A ZANEX ALERT FOR THESE WARNING MESSAGES. SERIOUSLY, WHY ARE THESE ALWAYS CAPITALIZED?!

WE NEED TO GET A MECHANISM THAT LETS US POST WARNINGS IN MIXED CASE.