The NWS Game

[Lightning86]

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN UPTON, NY HAS ISSUED AN ANNOYING YOUTUBE USER ADVISORY FOR FOR ALL TWC FANS ON YOUTUBE FROM FEBRUARY 3RD, 2009 TO FURTHER NOTICE. THIS STORM WAS RECENTLY LOCATED ON MY CHANNEL SENDING ANNOYING MESSAGES TO ME. THE YOUTUBE USER'S USERNAME IS nomoretrolling15B...BE ON A LOOKOUT FOR THIS SLIGHTLY DANGEROUS PERSON, THIS IS ALREADY HIS THIRD ACCOUNT ON YOUTUBE, HE CLOSED HIS OTHER TWO DUE TO PEOPLE MAKING HIM ANGRY, HIS FIRST ACCOUNT WAS exa121, HIS SECOND WAS exa121REVIVED. THIS YOUTUBE USER DOES NOT MEET THE WARNING CRITERIA AS HE IS JUST MINOR TO AT TIMES MODERATE THREAT TO US...STAY TUNED TO THE LIGHTNING86 TWC TODAY USER FOR ANY LATER UPDATES AND FORECASTS FROM THIS STORM. AN ANNOYING YOUTUBE USER ADVISORY MEANS THAT ANNOYING ACTS FROM A CERTAIN YOUTUBE USER IS CAUSING MINOR HEADACHES TO ANNOY OTHER PEOPLE. TO REPORT ANY ANNOYANCE, BRAIN DAMAGE, OR STUPIDITY THAT YOU MAY NOT CARE ABOUT, CALL NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE TOLL FREE NUMBER, 1-877-633-6772.

[Zach]

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN UPTON, NY HAS ISSUED AN ANNOYING YOUTUBE USER ADVISORY FOR FOR ALL TWC FANS ON YOUTUBE FROM FEBRUARY 3RD, 2009 TO FURTHER NOTICE. THIS STORM WAS RECENTLY LOCATED ON MY CHANNEL SENDING ANNOYING MESSAGES TO ME. THE YOUTUBE USER'S USERNAME IS nomoretrolling15B...BE ON A LOOKOUT FOR THIS SLIGHTLY DANGEROUS PERSON, THIS IS ALREADY HIS THIRD ACCOUNT ON YOUTUBE, HE CLOSED HIS OTHER TWO DUE TO PEOPLE MAKING HIM ANGRY, HIS FIRST ACCOUNT WAS exa121, HIS SECOND WAS exa121REVIVED. THIS YOUTUBE USER DOES NOT MEET THE WARNING CRITERIA AS HE IS JUST MINOR TO AT TIMES MODERATE THREAT TO US...STAY TUNED TO THE LIGHTNING86 TWC TODAY USER FOR ANY LATER UPDATES AND FORECASTS FROM THIS STORM. AN ANNOYING YOUTUBE USER ADVISORY MEANS THAT ANNOYING ACTS FROM A CERTAIN YOUTUBE USER IS CAUSING MINOR HEADACHES TO ANNOY OTHER PEOPLE. TO REPORT ANY ANNOYANCE, BRAIN DAMAGE, OR STUPIDITY THAT YOU MAY NOT CARE ABOUT, CALL NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE TOLL FREE NUMBER, 1-877-633-6772.

LOL, good one Joseph!

[ruhgster]

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN OMAHA/VALLEY NE HAS ISSUED A NO WEATHER WARNING FOR ALL COUNTIES IN EASTERN NEBRASKA AND SOUTHWEST IOWA.  AT 3:12PM CST, NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE DOPPLER RADAR CONTINUED TO INDICATE NO WEATHER GOING ON IN THE AREA.  THE NO WEATHER EVENT IS EXPECTED TO BE NEAR:

ALL LOCATIONS ALL DAY FRIDAY

PEOPLE IN THE WARNED AREA SHOULD QUIT LISTENING TO THIS NOAA WEATHER RADIO STATION OR QUIT READING THIS STATEMENT BECAUSE THERE IS NO POINT.  UPDATES TO THE SITUATION WILL BE ISSUED EVERY 30 SECONDS UNTIL THIS BORING STRETCH OF NO WEATHER COMES TO AN END.

RUHGSTER

$$

[ruhgster]

ZONE FORECAST
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE OMAHA/VALLEY NE
319PM CST 05 FEB 2009

NO-WEATHER WARNING CONTINUES
.TONIGHT...DARK EXPECTED, OTHERWISE BORING.  LOW AROUND 30.
.TOMORROW...CONTINUED BORING, HIGH AROUND 56.
.TOMORROW NIGHT THROUGH SATURDAY NIGHT..SAME CRAP, DIFFERENT DAYS.
.SUNDAY...HOPEFULLY THUNDERSTORMS, OTHERWISE NOTHING.

[phw115wvwx]

For as long as this game has been running, I'm surprised that no one has mentioned that the NWS itself has even played this game!  I'm going to give them some well overdue credit now.   The following was actually made by the NWS in Kansas City, MO and released to the public on December 17, 2003:

150
WWUS73 KEAX 171659
NPWEAX

URGENT - WEATHER MESSAGE
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE KANSAS CITY-PLEASANT HILL MO
1055 AM CST WED DEC 17 2003

...TEST...TEST...TEST...

.UNUSUALLY HOT WEATHER HAS ENTERED THE REGION FOR DECEMBER...AS THE
EARTH HAS LEFT ITS ORBIT AND IS HURLING TOWARD THE SUN.

MOZ012-021-172251-
ANDREW MO-CLINTON MO-
1055 AM CST WED DEC 17 2003

...EXCESSIVE HEAT WATCH IN EFFECT FROM THIS AFTERNOON TO LATE
TONIGHT...

UNUSUALLY HOT WEATHER WILL OCCUR FOR AT LEAST THE NEXT SEVERAL DAYS
AS THE EARTH DRAWS EVER NEARER TO THE SUN. THEREFORE...AN EXCESSIVE
HEAT WATCH HAS BEEN POSTED.

STAY TUNED TO NOAA WEATHER RADIO AND OTHER LOCAL MEDIA FOR FURTHER
DETAILS OR UPDATES.

$$
HEINLEIN

[WeatherSTARIII]

ZONE FORECAST
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE LOS ANGELES CA
1145AM PST 21 FEB 2009
 
* CONFUSING LOCAL FORECAST UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE *
 
TODAY...CLEAR.
 
TONIGHT...CLEAR.
 
SUNDAY...CLEAR.
 
TEMPERATURE / PRECIPITATION LOS ANGELES CIVIC CNTR 50 39 53 39 / 0 0 0 0 / LOS ANGELES AIRPORT / 49 34 48 36 / 0 0 0 0 / LONG BEACH 52 37 52 35 / 0 0 0 0 MALIBU HILLS 53 43 54 43 / 0 0 0 0 WOODLAND HILLS 54 36 55 35 / 0 0 0 0 BURBANK 55 47 56 38 / 0 0 0 0 NEWHALL 54 35 51 40 / 0 0 0 0 PASADENA 55 46 55 44 / 0 0 0 0 OJAI 45 54 45 56 / 0 0 0 0 THOUSAND OAKS 54 44 52 41 / 0 0 0 0
 
EXTENDED FORECAST...SOUTHREN CALIFORINA
 
SERIOUSLY, WHY CAN'T WE JUST STICK WITH THE REGULAR LOCAL FORECAST MESSAGES LIKE WHAT THE REST OF THE U.S. WOULD DO...

[curtjr4]

((Weatherstar 4000 Warning tone sounds))

BULLETIN  - IMMEDIATE BROADCAST REQUESTED

TUNNEL WARNING
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE GRAND RAPIDS MI
SAT MAR 7 2009 413 PM EDT

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A TUNNEL WARNING EFFECTIVE UNTIL FURTHER
NOTICE FOR ALL OF GRAND CENTRAL MICHIGAN

TUNNELS ARE EXPANDING ALL OVER GRAND CENTRAL MICHIGAN LIKE THE CRAPPY ROADS.

IF YOU LIVE IN THE GRAND CENTRAL REGION OF MICHIGAN PLEASE MOVE TO A DIFFERENT REGION OF
MICHIGAN OR TO ANOTHER STATE.

$$

CURTJR4 TWCT
CURTJR4 TWCC
CURTJR4 TAIG.

[Anistorm]

Oooh, let me try...

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN EL CENTRO CA HAS ISSUED A KITTY CAT WARNING FOR IMPERIAL COUNTY. THIS WARNING EXPIRES AT 7:00 AM WHEN ALL KITTY CATS STOP DESTROYING LAWNS, PROPERTY, DUMPING TRASH CANS, ETCETERA ETCETERA. OH AND NOT TO MENTION LOUD ANNOYING MEOWING. THIS WARNING WILL BE POSTED EVERY NIGHT IN THE NEXT THREE WEEKS OR UNTIL EVERY KITTY CAT IS RESCUED OR RETURNED TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS. THAT'S ALL FOR NOW.

[Jonathan]

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A PART DEAD/PART ALIVE REDBUD TREE WARNING FOR A CORNER OF MY BACKYARD. THE TREE WAS ALMOST HALF-DESTROYED IN THE ICE STORM OF LATE JANUARY. THE REMAINING DEAD PARTS WILL BE REMOVED VIA CHAINSAW VIA MY DAD. THIS IS AN EMERGENCY SITUATION FOR THE APPEARANCE OF MY BACKYARD. THIS WARNING IS IN EFFECT UNTIL WHENEVER MY DAD CAN FIND THE TIME TO PICK UP A CHAINSAW AND SAW OFF A LIMB OR TWO...WHICH WILL LIKELY BE NEXT YEAR.

~~
CRAMER

[Anistorm]

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A COCKROACH WARNING FOR A 1/99 PART OF THE IMPERIAL COUNTY, THIS INCLUDES ANISTORM/IHEARTSTEPHANIEABRAMS' HOUSE. THE HOUSE IS FULL OF HIDDEN COCKROACHES THAT COME OUT AFTER 7 PM AND GO BACK INTO HIDING AT 7 AM. COCKROACHES CAN EASILY BE ELIMINATED, BY GETTING A SHOE AND KILL IT, OR IF YOU ARE AFRAID OF COCKROACHES, YOU CAN CALL ANISTORM/IHEARTSTEPHANIEABRAMS AND SHE'LL COME BY AND KILL IT FOR YOU. NOT RECOMMENDABLE TO CALL AN EXTERMINATOR. AS MENTIONED, THESE COCKROACHES CAN BE EASILY TERMINATED. THIS WARNING IS IN EFFECT UNTIL COCKROACH SEASON IS OVER (IDK WHEN). THAT'S ALL FOR NOW.

[Jonathan]

PUBLIC INFORMATION STATEMENT
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE
352 PM CDT FRI MAR 27 2009

...THE PART DEAD/PART ALIVE TREE WARNING CONTINUES FOR THE CORNER OF MY BACKYARD...

IT HAS BEEN DECIDED MORE INFORMATION MUST BE PROVIDED ON THE TREE THAT WAS PARTIALLY DESTROYED IN THE PREVIOUS ICE STORM.

IT IS 46 YEARS OLD. IT IS A STRIKINGLY BEAUTIFUL REDBUD TREE THAT WAS DAMAGED IN THE ICE STORM OF LATE JANUARY AND EARLY FEBRUARY. A PICTURE OF THE TREE BEFORE THE SEEMINGLY RANDOM LIMB COLLAPSES IS AVAILABLE HERE. A PICTURE AFTER THE COLLAPSE IS HERE.

THIS WARNING WILL EXPIRE TOMORROW AT 10:00 PM.

*~
CRAMER
*~

[Jonathan]

A JUST-UNPREGNANT KITTY WARNING IS IN EFFECT FOR ANA'S DWELLING UNTIL MIDNIGHT CDT TONIGHT.

[Anistorm]

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN MEXICALI, MEXICO HAS ISSUED AN EVIL COUSIN WARNING FOR IMPERIAL COUNTY AND NORTHERN PART OF BAJA MEXICO. ANISTORM/IHEARTSTEPHANIEABRAMS HAS AN EVIL COUSIN NAMED STEPHIE AND SHE IS A HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUT AND IS IN HER 2ND PREGNANCY. STEPHIE IS VERY JEALOUS OF ANISTORM/IHEARTSTEPHANIEABRAMS AND SHE WANTS TO MAKE HER LIFE VERY MISERABLE BY GETTING HER IN TROUBLE FOR THINGS ANISTORM/IHEARTSTEPHANIEABRAMS HAD NOT DONE. THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR THREE YEARS AND THIS WARNING MAY LAST FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND WHATEVER IT WILL LAST FOREVER. THAT'S ALL FOR NOW.

A JUST-UNPREGNANT KITTY WARNING IS IN EFFECT FOR ANA'S DWELLING UNTIL MIDNIGHT CDT TONIGHT.

Hahahahaha very funny Jonny.

[ruhgster]

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN OMAHA/VALLEY NE HAS ISSUED A METEOROLOGISTS TAKE A DAY OFF WARNING FOR TODAY FOR ALL COUNTIES.  AT 800 AM, NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE EMPLOYESS DECIDED TO TAKE THE DAY OFF AND GO HOME TODAY BECAUSE ALL PEOPLE DO IS COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW MUCH WE ARE WRONG.  TORNADOES ARE EXPECTED IN THE AREA TODAY BUT NO TORNADO WARNINGS WILL BE ISSUED, EVERYONE IS ON YOUR OWN, THEN MAYBE WE WILL BE APPRECIATED MORE.  THIS IS YOUR TORNADO WARNING.

[Anistorm]

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN EL CENTRO, CA HAS ISSUED AN UNCONTROLLABLE SNEEZING WARNING FROM ANISTORM/IHEARTSTEPHANIEABRAMS'S HOUSE TO IMPERIAL VALLEY COLLEGE. THIS WARNING IS NOW ISSUED BECAUSE SINCE YESTERDAY ANISTORM/IHEARTSTEPHANIEABRAMS HAD A SNEEZING RECORD OF 20. HEADACHE THUMPS INSIDE, MIND NOT WORKING, SNIFFLING, AND MOSTLY SNEEZING. THE MIKE BETTES COLD WARNING ISSUED YESTERDAY HAS NOW BEEN LIFTED AND THE STEPHANIE ABRAMS ALLERGY WARNING IS NOW IN EFFECT AS WELL. BE CAREFUL WHEN NEAR ANISTORM/IHEARTSTEPHANIEABRAMS, EITHER IN PERSON OR ONLINE, SHE WILL SNEEZE WITHOUT HOLDING IT. THAT'S ALL FOR NOW.